Kenosha County Veterans Memorial Park
Single Parent Struggles
Last week we talked about helping our children make transitions. The difficult part is as we are helping our kids, we ourselves are going through transitions. If you were divorced, you already went through a major life transition. Now, you have to deal with multiple mini transitions.
I realize you may be a single parent who never gets a break and building ways to transition is the answer to be more available to your children. Or like me, you may be a single parent with shared placement who gets breaks from your children you really do not want.
How do we deal with our children coming and going? When my children would leave, the house would be so quiet. My heart would be overwhelmed with sadness. I learned to think ahead of how I would bridge that transition gap in healthy ways.
Although as adults we may have more coping skills, being aware of what helps us transition is key to our emotional health.
People’s thoughts can be like a deep well, but someone with understanding can find the wisdom there.
Proverbs 20:5 NCV
How did Jesus transition?
We always look first to Jesus and how He lived on this earth. Jesus transitioned by spending time with His Father. If Jesus needed time with His Father, how much more do we?
Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone..
Matthew 14:22-23
How to Ease Transition Times
Sometimes we are intuitively drawn to those things that help us transition. After teaching all day, with twenty or so kindergartners, attempting to meet all their emotional and physical needs for the day, I was drained. I would come home, spend a little time with my sons and then head to the bathroom to take a quick bath. I called it “washing off the day”.
That is what my body told me I needed…come to find out science shows that water is grounding. If you are interested in more about the health benefits of grounding, visit the Intuition Physician website.
Although I may not agree with all the spiritual practices of this particular doctor, there is no denying the earth elements are healing. God gave us resources to heal our bodies and souls.
Therefore, in all these ideas below, include and integrate praying to your Father as Jesus did.
Go for a walk, bike ride, run, or engage in any movement that feels good to your body, preferably outside. Science now shows we think better outside and make better decisions once we spend time outside. Whenever I am trying to process a feeling I just don’t understand, walking in the woods almost always brings clarity. As you move, talk to God.
Just as we may pick music to help our children transition. See last week’s post. You can pick music or a song to help you transition.
Pick and memorize a scripture verse. For the first few years after divorce, my ex-husband would drop the children off. They were small so it was hard to avoid contact. He had made it clear that he left me, not the children. Seeing him constantly was hard. God gave me this verse from the life of Joseph when I was studying forgiveness and I would repeat it over and over in my head during transitions.
But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:19-20
Schedule a walk with a friend to follow hard transitions (like when your children are going on a long vacation with the other parent). Make sure you are spending time with a person who uplifts you and brings you closer to God.
Journal your feelings as you present them to God. If you feel the need to leave your home, go to your local coffee shop or the library.
Read an uplifting book. I find anything by Max Lucado comforting. anxious for nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World is a good place to start.
Do something for someone else. When we take our minds off our own circumstances, we tend to be more joyful. See this article.
Warning!
Do not go on your phone or computer. If you desire an escape, you will spend way too long scrolling. Most likely when you are done, you will not feel better. And most likely you would have not included communing with God.
Reflections
- What is your body telling you during transition times?
- Think ahead to transition times that are hard for you. What is helpful for you?
Do you have an abundance of zucchini? This week I am linking you to a Paleo Zucchini Brownie Recipe. No one will even know the zucchini is in them! If you desire to make them dessert like we do, click on the right for a Fool Proof Ganache recipe that we use often. If you have extra Ganache, freeze it for another use.
If your child is struggling with transitions, read Taming Transitions: How to Reconnect with Your Child.
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