Back to School
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,
Your consolations delight my soul. Psalm 94:17-19
Open houses, conferences, school programs, sports events. If you are a divorced single parent, all these activities take on new dimensions for you. Even if you have a good co-parenting relationship, there are challenges.
How do we navigate these circumstances? It takes courage. (See Equipped to Lead for the Single Parent –ETL 1 Strength, Courage!)
What Feelings Does School Bring Up for You?
First of all, all parents, divorced or not, should take time to think about your own childhood school experiences. When you walk in a school building, what feelings emerge? Did you like school? Was it a safe place? Or do you feel anxiety as you enter the school building? Did you struggle academically? Were you bullied in school?
Taking time to deal with these feelings is helpful. You may have to rewrite some of your scripts from childhood and reassure your inner child. This is not only for us, but for our children who are the foremost experts on reading our emotions.
Be Proactive
It is a good idea to think ahead before the school year begins. Teachers are usually more than happy to accommodate, and it helps them be prepared if they know ahead of time.
If you and an ex-spouse are attending an open house, do you need two copies of the opening papers? Usually there are weekly folders being sent home, will you need two copies of papers to be placed in the folder?
Email has made this easier. You can copy your child’s other parent in an email to the teacher letting them know your needs. Do you have a varied pick up schedule the teacher needs to be aware of?
Make sure you get a schedule of your child’s day and specials. This comes in handy when you desire to ask your child questions about their day. You can ask more specific questions if you know what they do each day.
Be Aware of Your Child’s Emotions
I would often wince inside as I saw my children attempt to accommodate two sets of parents at school and sports events. My heart went out to them. Place yourself in your child’s shoes. Try not to be easily offended. Their role is not easy.
God Goes With You
Having a picture in your head of how God is with you in these situations is beneficial. I am currently reading The Praying Life by Paul Miller. I appreciate the author’s take on Psalm 23. I love how scripture constantly takes on new meaning. I missed this in this well known scripture. Reread Psalm 23 with this in mind.
God goes before you…
He leads me beside quiet waters..
He walks with you…
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me…
He follows behind you.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life…
Keep Teacher Interactions Professional
..a time to be silent and a time to speak…Ecclesiastes 3:7
Most teachers do not want to be subpoenaed to family court. At one point my son’s step-mother bonded with my son’s teacher who was also a step-mother. Although most of the time, I had chose to leave my reputation in God’s hands – this was a time I had to speak up.
I had a meeting with the principal and teacher to discuss the inappropriateness of becoming involved in family matters as a teacher. (Bring someone with you if you feel you need support. I did!) The meeting had a positive outcome.
God's Goodness
Nothing was easy about our family circumstances, but let me share how we experienced God’s faithfulness. First of all, God strategically placed teachers who knew our family at the same school my sons attended for their early elementary years.
Secondly, the year after the meeting, a kindergarten position opened at my son’s school due to high enrollment. I taught kindergarten in the same district and was able to transfer to their school finishing out their elementary years in the same building. The teachers at the school were so gracious to our situation.
Be encouraged God sees your family.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:13-14
Reflections
- What are your feelings about school?
- Where can you be kindly proactive to prepare the way for the school year?
- Visualize how God goes with you.
This summer we have been enjoying gluten free pizza on the grill. Let’s enjoy these last days of summer with a family favorite!
The grain free, gluten free pizza crust mix we use is Chebe Pizza Crust Mix. Gluten free pizza crust is always a little difficult to roll out but this crust is worth the effort!
Also visit the recipe page for other healthy recipes!